What To Do When You Can't Find God

 

"Who Am I" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Who am I? They often tell me

I step out from my cell

calm and cheerful and poised,

like a squire from his manor.

 

Who am I? They often tell me

I speak with my guards

freely, friendly and clear,

as though I were the one in charge.

 

Who am I? They also tell me

I bear days of calamity

serenely, smiling and proud,

like one accustomed to victory.

 

The Author of "Who Am I?"

Dietrich Bonhoeffer is one of my heroes of the faith, and his writings have challenged me for years. Bonhoeffer was a Lutheran pastor and theologian who led an underground seminary in Germany during the Nazi period, and was executed in 1945 for his role in a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler. 

One of my favorite poems that he wrote is "Who Am I?". He wrote those words a few weeks before he was killed. The words are haunting, not just because of their mortal timings, but more so for their probing truths into the realm of our projected personas that we present to others. It has been said, "We are all living three types of stories, 1) There is the story that we want others to believe about ourselves, the face that we present to others. 2) Then, there is the story that I believe that I am living, that in my mind and heart I believe sincerely represents who I truly am. 3) Then finally, the true story. The story of my truest intentions, thoughts, and actions which are only known to God. 

Dietrich Bonhoeffer (By J. John)

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, executed for his long-standing opposition to Hitler, is one of the great Christian heroes of the twentieth century.

Bonhoeffer was born in 1906 to an aristocratic German family. Evidently gifted, he chose to study theology, graduating with a doctorate at the age of twenty-one. In the first of what were to be many international links he worked for two years with a German congregation in Barcelona. He then went to the United States to study for a year at a liberal theological college that he found shallow and uninspiring. He was, however, impressed by the African-American churches he worshipped at, appreciating the congregations’ zeal and sympathising with the social injustices they endured.

Bonhoeffer returned to Germany in 1931, lecturing and pastoring a church. Horrified by the rise of the Nazis he spoke out publicly against Hitler from the moment he became Chancellor in 1933. His was not a popular view: many German Christians, encouraged by Hitler’s manipulative use of Christian language, saw him as the nation’s saviour.