10 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do (Part I)

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life. Check out these ten things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become more mentally strong.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond. Words matter, your brain doesn't always choose correctly when it comes to determining intent so don't send yourself mixed messages. Choose your words carefully so that your thoughts all originate from a positive place. 

3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

18 Things I Wish I Had Known At 18 (Part IV)

This is the final entry in my series, "18 Things I Wish I Had Known At 18".  You can click HERE to read Part I and HERE to read Part II and HERE to read Part III. 

So without further ado, here is Part IV:

16. Be respectful of others and make them feel good. – In life and business, it’s not so much what you say that counts, it’ how you make people feel.  So respect your elders, minors, and everyone in between. There are no boundaries or classes that define a group of people that deserve to be respected. Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother. Supporting, guiding, and making contributions to other people is one of life’s greatest rewards. A life dedicated to serving others is truly a life well lived.

17. Excel at what you do. – There’s no point in doing something if you aren’t going to do it right.  Excel at your work and excel at your hobbies. Develop a reputation for yourself, a reputation for consistent excellence.

18. Be who you were designed to be. – You must follow your heart, and be who you God created you to be. Some of us were born with a passion for music – to communicate intricate thoughts and rousing feelings using the keys of our instruments. Some of us were given the gift of poetry – to touch people’s hearts with exquisite prose. Some of us were given the talent to be entrepreneurs – to create growth and opportunity where others saw rubbish. Bottom line, all of us were designed to make a difference in this world, serving others and helping them to achieve their dreams as well. Regardless of what you decide to do in your lifetime, choose joy. Don’t waste your life wallowing in self-pity or moaning about the unfairness of life. Throw yourself a pity party, clean up the mess, and pick yourself up and move forward with your life. There is a great big world that needs your unique gifts! 

and One to grow on . . . 

Above all, make your relationship with Jesus Christ your number one priority of your life. This is the only commitment that you can make in your life that will carry on to the world to come, which is where you will be spending the greatest majority of your existence. Don't forgo the eternal for the temporal lure of the fleeting. If you are interested in learning more about cultivating your spiritual walk I urge you to start praying that God would bring people into your life who would help you in your faith journey. He is faithful to answer our prayers when we are sincere and humble. 

18 Things I Wish I Had Known At 18 (Part III)

This is Part III in my series, "18 Things I Wish I Had Known At 18" You can click HERE to read Part I and HERE to read Part II. 

So without further ado, here is Part III:

12. Sit alone in silence for at least ten minutes every day. – Use this time to think, plan, reflect, and dream. Creative and productive thinking flourish in solitude and silence. With quiet, you can hear your thoughts, you can reach deep within yourself, and you can focus on mapping out the next logical, productive step in your life.

13. Ask lots of questions. – The greatest ‘adventure’ is the ability to inquire, to ask questions.  Sometimes in the process of inquiry, the search is more significant than the answers. Answers come from other people, from the universe of knowledge and history, and from the intuition and deep wisdom inside yourself. These answers will never surface if you never ask the right questions. Thus, the simple act of asking the right questions is the answer.

14. Exploit the resources you do have access to. – The average person is usually astonished when they see a physically handicap person show intense signs of emotional happiness.  How could someone in such a restricted physical state be so happy?  The answer rests in how they use the resources they do have. Stevie Wonder couldn’t see, so he exploited his sense of hearing into a passion for music, and he now has 25 Grammy Awards to prove it.

15. Live below your means. – Live a comfortable life, not a wasteful one. Do not spend to impress others. Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.  Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you. Always live well below your means.

18 Things I Wish I Had Known At 18 (Part II)

This is Part II in my series, "18 Things I Wish I Had Known At 18" You can click HERE to read Part I.  

So without further ado, here is Part II: 

6. People are not mind readers.  Tell them what you’re thinking. – People will never know how you feel unless you tell them.  Your boss?  Yeah, he doesn’t know you’re hoping for a promotion because you haven’t told him yet.  That cute girl you haven’t talked to because you’re too shy?  Yeah, you guessed it; she hasn’t given you the time of day simply because you haven’t given her the time of day either.  In life, you have to communicate with others. And often, you have to open your vocal cords and speak the first words.  You have to tell people what you’re thinking. It’s as simple as that.

7. Make swift decisions and take immediate action. – Either you’re going to take action and seize new opportunities, or someone else will first. You can’t change anything or make any sort of progress by sitting back and thinking about it. Remember, there’s a huge difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it. Knowledge is basically useless without action.

8. Accept and embrace change. – However good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That’s the one thing you can count on. So embrace change, and realize that change happens for a reason. It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.

9. This is an area that for reason both good and bad I have never struggled with. The down side to this perspective is it can shut you off from good ideas that others might suggest. There is a real danger to making decisions in a vacuum so be aware of that bent when embracing this perspective. The good part of this advice almost goes without saying, you save yourself an tremendous amount of second guessing, vast amounts of time, and useless guilt worrying about others and their perception of who you are. If you don't care you don't worry. And for the most part this is a valuable ally - but I would caution you to couple this independence with at least one close friend, co-worker, partner who will tell you the truth and not be afraid of your reactions. 

10. Always be honest with yourself and others. – Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless. Period.

11. Talk to lots of people in college and early on in your career. – Bosses. Colleagues. Professors.  Classmates.  Social club members. Other students outside of your major or social circle. Teaching assistants. Career advisors. College deans. Friends of friends. Everyone!  Why? Professional networking. When employers look to fill a position, the first thing they do is ask the people they know and trust if they know someone who would do well in the position. If you start building your professional network early, you’ll be set. Over time, you’ll continue talking to new people you meet through your current network and your network’s reach and the associated opportunities will continue to snowball for the duration of your career.

I hope you will plan on joining me next week for Part III in this series. Thanks for reading!