The Cost = Value Equation

The other day, as I was thumbing through my ancient record collection, I started thinking about the investment I had in my collection. The majority of my records I do not own, due to a couple of very unorganized moves in my twenties. But I do still have the very first record I ever purchased, which is the Batman TV Show soundtrack by The Marketts. (Here is the link to the theme of that show.) 

Now for context, I had to work to own that album which was also true for any non-essential purchase in my childhood. I saved my allowance which I received for working around the house (beyond my normal chores), then bargained for transportation downtown to the Sears store, (which was the closest store that sold records back then) got home and devoured the album art and info - discovering who played on the record, the album list of songs, the artwork (which was awesome!) and then I put the record on my portable player and listened to the songs. Later I relived this experience when I visited friends and discovered together the shared experience of listening to music. As opposed to our current economic flow required to listen to music, I was heavily invested in my time and money into that experience, which is probably why that album became a treasured possession. 

What To Do When You Can't Find God

 

"Who Am I" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Who am I? They often tell me

I step out from my cell

calm and cheerful and poised,

like a squire from his manor.

 

Who am I? They often tell me

I speak with my guards

freely, friendly and clear,

as though I were the one in charge.

 

Who am I? They also tell me

I bear days of calamity

serenely, smiling and proud,

like one accustomed to victory.

 

The Author of "Who Am I?"

Dietrich Bonhoeffer is one of my heroes of the faith, and his writings have challenged me for years. Bonhoeffer was a Lutheran pastor and theologian who led an underground seminary in Germany during the Nazi period, and was executed in 1945 for his role in a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler. 

One of my favorite poems that he wrote is "Who Am I?". He wrote those words a few weeks before he was killed. The words are haunting, not just because of their mortal timings, but more so for their probing truths into the realm of our projected personas that we present to others. It has been said, "We are all living three types of stories, 1) There is the story that we want others to believe about ourselves, the face that we present to others. 2) Then, there is the story that I believe that I am living, that in my mind and heart I believe sincerely represents who I truly am. 3) Then finally, the true story. The story of my truest intentions, thoughts, and actions which are only known to God.