Okay, now that the little bit of musical housekeeping is out of the way, a confession is in order. The majority of topics and truths that I have addressed over the years in this blog, for the most part, apply to my own life. The speak directly to my personal failings in my attempts to be a better husband, father, employee, friend, family member and Christ follower. They are choices, and sins, motivated by my prideful nature, that thankfully God has faithfully been working to remove from my character over the years. I truly shudder to think about all of the ways that I have disappointed Him, damaging the Kingdom of God, but even worse, openly rebelling against Him, all under the banner of my pride.
All of my sins choices were a direct result of loving my own choices more than I wanted to obey His commandments in my life. This blog is a well of experience in how not to live your life, and how not to obey the One who loves you the most. This is not something I am in anyway proud of but I believe that sometimes bringing the darkness into the light diminishes the power of sin over our own lives. That is why the title of this blog simply says, "broken person | Jesus is fixing".
I am, to a great extent, a product of the culture of my youth, where drawing attention to oneself was never frowned upon, but the opposite was also true, that sharing the darkest parts of one's character was never acceptable as well.
There are still areas of my life that are known only to a couple of people and of course God. He has forgiven me for the most vile sins that I have committed through the grace of Jesus Christ and I will never be able to express my gratitude for this gift. But because of these flaws in my character I would also be foolish not to share them with those who can point me to the truth about myself and for that I am eternally grateful. These people are known to myself and God and I believe that is enough.
Okay, back to the point at hand . . .
I was struck the other day about a characteristic of the time in which we live. If you had told my parents, or my grandparents, that there would come a time when almost everyone in the world would have their own webpage, social media platform, video channel, or audio podcast, all under the guise that their voice was too important to go unnoticed, I'm pretty sure hilarity would ensue. With perhaps a sober call to sanity as well.
And yes, I'm not unaware of the irony of writing these words in my own blog.
But wait . . . (Another 70's reference to the famous K-Tel record commercials of the days - urging you to buy a collection of records and then proclaiming the promise, "But wait, there's more!".
I am not saying that I am oblivious to the prideful state of publishing my thoughts into the cloud, versus writing them down privately, as most of humanity has done throughout the ages. I'm also not denying a prideful aspect of sharing my views in the hopes of being recognized as someone who hopefully brought comfort, humour, and maybe even wisdom to others through his writing. ("But wait . . . ") However, my primary motivation for starting this blog as well as the reason I have continued this endeavor throughout the years is for my daughter. I will unashamedly proclaim that I want her to know me in a way that we may or may not ever have time to explore in person. Yes, we are close, and we love each other beyond measure, but life happens, and one day you realize that carving out moments of true transparency and reflection are very rare, and becoming even rarer as we all grow older and world grows crazier.
So yes, I want my daughter to be able to read about her Dad, not because I'm special, or have some wonderful advice on how to live this life, but because I'm her Dad. She is me and I am her.
Over the past few years I've been strategic about recording my parents in audio interviews, asking them questions about their childhood, friends, life experiences, and so much more. The results of these interviews are some of the most precious possessions I have on this earth. But it took me, I'm ashamed to say, many years before I realized the worth and the great treasure that they mean to me. And when you love someone, you want to learn all you can about them, what made them fall in love, why did they choose to live where they lived, how did they come to learn about God, how did they keep their faith strong when the storms of life threatened to destroy everything they knew. The important and the little things - and perhaps a dose in between.
So these are the reasons I share my thoughts through this blog, so that in the event that I'm no longer on this planet, my daughter, if she chooses, can learn about her Dad through some of the ramblings that I have published over the years. She can read my prayers for her, my wishes for her future, and most of all she will know how much I love her, how proud I am of her, and how I will never cease to pray God's blessings on her life. Whether I'm on this planet or the world to come.
One last prayer for my daughter,
Grace, be still and know that He is God. That as much as I love you, and there are truly no amount of words that I could ever type to properly express that love to you, He loves you even more! He created you to live with Him forever, to enjoy all that He has designed for just for you and for everyone that you love that are also Christ followers. But the word follower is the key to unlocking the promises to come. Don't be swayed by this world and its trappings, it is dust and will soon vanish. Work hard putting up treasures in the world where you will spend eternity, pointing others to His promises as you share the good news of Jesus.
The adventure to come can not be described in mere words but you can bank your entire life that it is going to happen. It is as real as anything you can see, touch, or feel in this world. I have loved ones that are already experiencing the reality of Heaven and someday we will get to share it together as well. Oh, the wonder of that moment! Bring as many as you can! (And don't forget your dog!)
I love you Grace!
