Nostalgia

Okay, take a breath - you just survived "The Holidays". In fact, go ahead and take another breath - you've earned it. Ha!

You know, for as long as I've been an adult, I've heard that phrase, "surviving the holidays". Yet in my own experience I have way more positive memories about the holidays than negative. (And I hope the same can be said for you as well)

Sure, like most people who has lived over sixty years on this planet, there have been some gut-wrenching, tear jerking, store that memory in a dark closet and throw away the key moments, but by and large, I look forward to the holiday season and the unique memories that have generated over the years.  

But there is an area that I sometimes struggle with regarding the holidays and that is an obsession with nostalgia. Now don’t get me wrong, being nostalgic is wonderful, in many cases it helps to recall good times, people and places that you might have forgotten,  or wonderful traditions that bring a warm fuzzy feeling to your heart. But what people sometimes forget is that when you blast yourself into the past, "Don't forget the way back".

Memories can be a crazy gift, it can be incredibly addictive to immerse yourself in that emotion, but without warning your gratefulness for your present situation can begin to fade. And we haven't even gotten around to the danger of edited memories, specifically recalled by you, generating emotions that you desire to experience. 

Some of the best advice that I received in high school was from our Drama Teacher, Ms. Martin. She explained that few people truly engage others throughout their day (sometimes throughout their life) and that one way you can avoid that fault is to totally focus all of your attention on the person right in front of you. Don't fiddle with your hands, or look around, or engage in anything that takes your attention off of the person you are sharing a moment with. (And this advice was before cell phones so feel free to fill in your own modern don'ts.) Whoever you are engaged with at that time deserves your full complement of focus, attention, and passion. Try it and I'll bet you will be shocked at the response that you will receive over time as you create a bubble around you and the person you are engaged with at that moment in time. 

One of the potential dangers of nostalgia is that it can transport your attention away from the present moment, and that is damaging to whoever you might be interacting with during this lapse of focus. Remember, time is a fickle mistress, she retreats for no one, no matter the pleas to the contrary.  

So visit the past, you bet. Set aside some time to relive some of your favorite people and moments. But live in the past, never. There is too much going on in your present that you don't want to miss and people who need you fully engaged in this life to miss a single moment.