Do you remember a time in your life when all of your emotions, intellect, strength, everything you possessed, was laser focussed on the perilous situation consuming your every thought?
During these times of suffering, you may find yourself gravitating toward any help that could rescue you from your situation. Let me give you an personal example:
During a particularly deep valley experience, I picked up a book by an author who had found himself in a similar environment in his life. The more I read an emotional bond was formed and by the time I had finished the book it had become an overwhelming dependence. I promptly googled his website and composed an email, pouring out my heart in a way that I had never done with any of my closest friends and family, and then I pressed send.
I never received a reply.
But I did learn something about myself, I am a lot more fragile than I thought I was. My emotional, physical, and spiritual strengths are deceptive, because no one can endure extended seasons of despair and suffering without breaking. The tedious threads that hold us together are just that, threads of dubious strength and resilience. When I am being swept away by the waves of my storm, I am tempted to grasp at anything that looks like a form of rescue. It is during such times that it is imperative that we guard our hearts, minds, and souls from influences that are not God inspired.
I suspect that no one goes through life untouched by such times of desperation. Whether triggered by the mind-numbing pain that comes with the loss of a loved one, saying goodbye to a beloved pet, trapped in a season that seems to be never ending, stuck in a moment where God seems far away and disinterested, maybe a dear friend has chosen to walk away from you and your friendship, you fill in the blank. The point is that pain and suffering are companions in this life and during those times you are faced with several crucial situations.
The first and most important decision that we all face during times of intense struggle is the answer to this question, "Is God good?" Is He good despite our painful reality? Is He good when He seems to be far away? Is He good when your dreams are being unceremoniously beaten down into nothingness? Is He good when that which you love the most is no longer part of your life? May I humbly suggest this blog entry where I describe my thoughts on this question. This question is impossible to answer when you are in the middle of your storm, but God has given us His promises to keep our mind and hearts focussed on Him during our times of pain. This question must be answered correctly for us to successfully navigate our time of suffering.
The second action is to surround yourselves with someone who will help you carry the load. Yes, Jesus tells us that we are to rely upon Him when life is hard - and that is vital to surviving your trial, but He also knows that we need a fellow human to come alongside when our spirits are being crushed by life. Reach out to a trusted friend, a friend who is spiritually mature, who will speak truth when needed, but will also remain quiet when that is required. Choose carefully because the worldview of our friends will infiltrate our own, especially in times of weakness. [Which reminds me of the Will Smith quote: "Show me your three closest friends and I'll show you your future."]
The third action is to be aware of your weakness. [See my opening remarks . . . ] Weakness doesn't usually announce itself as it becomes your new normal, it is more like the frog and the boiling water example. Put a frog in scalding hot water and he will quickly jump out. Put the frog in lukewarm water and gradually turn up the heat and he will never recognize his perilous situation. Very few of us are self-aware enough during normal days, almost no one can properly analyze themselves during seasons of struggle, suffering, and pain. There are too many primal emotions that are clamoring for first place in our life - we must turn our thoughts, desires, and emotions over to God - each day. (Sometimes every minute . . . ) It is dangerous to look anywhere else but to our Creator for answers that mere mortals are not equipped to give. Learn from my mistake. Only Jesus has the power to transform our hearts and minds - and He promises to help us in Scripture. Allow Him to comfort as only He can, transform as only He has the power to do, and heal as only the One who created us can do in our hearts.
