Now I'm not counting any of the Holidays, I mean who doesn't love either Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas. No, I'm talking about a favorite day of the year that has meaning beyond any other day of the year.
For me, that date is September 21st. To be precise, September 21st, 2000.
Before I go any further let me clarify a couple of things. Unlike some people, I can't tell you exactly when I made a decision to follow Jesus Christ. I made a public profession when I was young, but I'm not totally sure that date was the origin of my faith journey. In the days and weeks after that public proclamation, I began to truly understand what it meant to accept Jesus as Lord of my life. But I can't tell you exactly what day of the year that happened.
And my own birthday, though I admit, holds some sentimental appeal, is not my favorite day of the year. It's a day that for me is filled with "Ying" and "Yang" and over the passing years it is impossible to separate the two.
No, my favorite day of the year is my daughter's birthday.
Not just because of the wonderful, precious, awesome person that she is, (Because she is!) but also because of what she represents about the goodness of God. And not just because of the fact that I lost a great portion of my heart that day, never to return to my control. (Thank you Jesus!) And no, it's not because she was the most perfect creation I had ever seen in my life. (Though this also is correct)
It's because her birth represents love in its purest form.
You see, for way too much of my life, I sought my own path. I rationalized it as only we humans can do but the bottom line was that I wanted to do things my way, on my schedule, without God's input.
That is a dangerous way to live, especially if you are a Christ-follower.
It is also the type of life guaranteed to inject pain into those around you. (Of which I will never be able to fully express my sorrow and guilt for my many actions).
God allowed me a lot of rope, rope that He would later allow me to bring pain upon myself, and after years of running, I finally hit a wall. He is a gentleman, who does not stay where He is not welcome. (Which is also why our country is in the mess it is but that is a different blog for a different day)
I could no longer keep up the illusion that I was in control, and more importantly, I no longer wanted control of my own life.
I wanted Him to take over.
At the moment, God, in His wonderful grace, saw fit to restore our relationship and opened up my eyes to truth. And one of those truths was this, He didn't keep score of my good and mostly bad deeds. My virtues actually held the same value as my vices. Yes, there had been and would be in the future consequences for my choices, but His grace far outweighed my penalties. I had fallen into a sea of possibilities, filled with forgiveness, infused with His love, and I would never be the same.
Yet . . .
So much of the evil that I have done in my life has ripple effects to this day. God has forgiven me, restored me, and I have repented for my sins, but there is still a cost to disobedience. Sin cost Moses from seeing the Promised Land, sin cost David his child, sin cost Lot his wife, and so on, the point is that the result of sin always cost more than it promises. (Romans 6:23)
And so because of my sins, for which I deserved death, I couldn't comprehend the possibility of life.
The gift of a child was beyond my reach of my imagination.
God, however, had other plans.
And on Thursday, September 21st, 2000, the 265th day in the Gregorian calendar, my daughter was born. (Psalm 139:130)
She was, and is, perfect in my sight.
Not just because she is funny, smart, kind, unselfish, loving, a Christ-follower, and awesome daughter and friend. Who also loves to watch baseball games with me and allows for my unique humour. And is a very old soul captured in her youth. With maturity that I don't think I even started to possess until I was well in my 30's. And who is coming around to appreciating the greatest music ever created, the music of the 60's, 70's and 80's. And much, much more!
But mostly because she represents the wonderful, unattainable, unworthy, gift of grace from God, Almighty Creator.
Who when I deserved the penalty of death, it please Him to give me life. Spiritually, and relationally. And then chose to give me His second greatest gift, a child, imprinted with the image of God, that also shares some of my DNA.
A gift that can never be repaid.
A gift undeserved.
Which is the primary reason why we named her Grace.
