She says nothing of what she thinks / She just goes stumbling through her memories
Staring out on to Grey Street / She thinks, "Hey, how did I come to this?
I dream myself a thousand times around the world / But I can't get out of this place"
There's an emptiness inside her / And she'd do anything to fill it in
But all the colors mix together / To grey
And it breaks her heart /How she wishes it was different
She prays to God most every night / And though she swears He doesn't listen
There's still a hope in her He might / She says, "I pray
Oh, but they fall on deaf ears / Am I supposed to take it on myself
To get out of this place?" / Oh, there's an loneliness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in . . ."
(Songwriters: David J Matthews | Grey Street lyrics © Colden Grey Ltd)
This song, Grey Street by Dave Matthew, never fails to move me emotionally and musically. Though the lyrics above are just a portion of the entire song, it is my opinion they reveal so many layers of meaning to this song. For example, on one hand I believe that the songwriter is describing a woman dealing with depression and her attempts to claw out of that valley. The emptiness inside her could be related to many things but I believe it is in at least in part the result of her futile attempts at being healed from her sadness and depression. The constancy of any season of suffering is a weight few can handle alone.
Yet . . .
Another aspect to this song is the woman's view toward God and prayer. Her faith is almost depleted, her prayers remain unanswered, but yet there is still a thread of hope. She is begging for help, crying out for answers and what loving God wouldn't answer that kind of prayer?
. . . silence. . .
I feel we need to be very careful here because we are walking dangerously close to spiritual quicksand.
When C.S. Lewis was in his 40's, he wrote a book called, "The Problem of Pain". He freely admits in that book that he had never suffered the kind of serious, intolerable pain that so many had been forced to face in their lifetimes. In fact, Lewis's close friend, Charles Williams, told him that he believed that the greatest weight of God's displeasure was reserved for Job's friends/comforters who tried to pretend that all was well. "The sort of people," he instructed Lewis with a jaded eye, "who write books on the problem of pain."
So many Christ followers in their attempt to "comfort" others wade into waters way over their heads. It is so easily apparent to those who have truly experienced suffering that when fellow travelers share their pain, you can see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices. There is an immediate kinship that surpasses mere words and actions. But the opposite impact is also true and wisdom is required to not lead others down a path that you have never been forced to walk.
Lewis himself came face-to-face with that kind of stunning pain and suffering later in his life and it rocked his entire world. In his book, "A Grief Observed", which was written after the death of his wife, Lewis wrote, "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning, the agonies, the mad moments and what is to come? Just this apathy, this dead flatness?"
Does that sound like one of the greatest Christian apologists in the 20th century?
How about these thoughts? "Maybe we really are rats in a trap. Or worse still, rats in a laboratory . . . Do you suppose the truth is God is a 'Cosmic Sadist' or an 'Eternal Vivisector?"'
You guessed it, C. S. Lewis again.
Later when the clouds begin to lift, which by the way took a great deal of time, Lewis began to feel that his relationship with God was no longer a door that was bolted and locked. His faith was slowly rebuilt, stronger than before, but it took an investment of time and much application. It took him venting his darkest thoughts, anger, and despair at his Creator. It took him writing down his feelings during his lonely nights and his most vulnerable moments. It took him finally coming to grips that God was still there, despite the barrier of his pain, despite the gulf of suffering, and despite the platitudes of well meaning friends who only succeeded in pushing him further away from his faith.
We need to be very careful when dispensing comfort, for a great wound is open and much damage can be accomplished. If you have walked this road of suffering then you probably already have an idea on what needs to be said and done. But if you have been spared that trial so far in your life, than prayerfully consider your words and actions so as to not displace the faith of your friend or family. Or perhaps discard words altogether in favor of just being there, to comfort with your presence versus your theology.
The Bible is clear in the Book of Job that the greatest weight of God's displeasure was saved for those who spoke without wisdom even in their authentic attempt to comfort their friend in need.
Unfortunately, our good motivations don't always rescue our bad actions.
